Preparing the child mentally and emotionally for adoption is never been easy for both the child and the parents. A big emotional and sensitive issue that both the parents and child can face is their separation from each other. No parent wants to distance themselves from their child. But circumstances develop like; the parents can’t afford to bring up their child, they are not in their best mental health to take care of the child or the child is accepted by neither the mother nor the father.
Problems faced by a Child:
But complications develop with the child who is old enough to understand the agony of being apart from someone the child loves. A newborn child adoption has no such problems as the child will open his/ her eyes and see the adoptive parents as the only one. But a child who is older than 5 years will definitely have difficulties in coping with the new circumstances according to independent adoption lawyers.
The pain of Loss:
The loss the child feels is not only about losing one’s parents but also going away from siblings, friends, culture, and language. There are many children who are intelligent and understand the real reason behind their parents giving up on other people. They take it as a positive thing but others don’t feel the same way and loudly and fiercely express their pain to others.
Challenge of Identity:
Since childhood, a child is told is to follow certain rules of living but suddenly he/ she is told that there is going to be a big change. The child has to live a life is which is totally different from the one which he/ she was used to. This creates an identity crisis for the child as to which rules and identification to adopt.
Connecting with New Situations and People:
When a child is adopted within the city then this issue can be solved as the child can stay in the school he/ she is already studying. But for intercity, state, and foreign adoption; this can become a big question. The child has to shift to another city or country; he/ she have to leave behind family members and friends and connect with new people and situations. The children have issues bonding with the new circumstances.
Misinformation to the Child:
Sometimes the adoptive parents and family hide the real identity of the child’s real religion, culture, and parents, or the closed adoption has the restriction of disclosing any information about the real parents. This has a negative effect on the child when he/ she come to know the truth about the origin of him/ her.
The feeling of Grief:
All of the above-mentioned problems develop a feeling of grief in the child. He/she may believe that both biological and adoptive parents have betrayed trust and confidence. For some, it takes time to overcome mental suffering but others take it as an insult to them.
Independent Adoption Lawyers Suggestions on Preparing the Child:
There are many adoption agencies like Tom Tebeau that help the parents as well as the children to cope with the whole adoption process. The parents can handle the whole procedure because they are mature and can understand the reasons for adoption. But children have an immature mind and can’t comprehend the situation. So to prepare the child for adoption you can follow the suggestions below.
Inform about Adoption Details:
The very first thing you can do is in detail inform the child about the adoption process. Keep the language simple and plain. Remember that the mind of the child is a clean paper and whatever you tell them it will be an impression on the mind. You can take help from social service workers to explain the adoption to the child.
Giving time to the Child:
You have to be patient because the child will take the time to understand the whole process. But it doesn’t mean that the adoptive parents keep a distance from the child. The adoptive parents have to spend time with the child so that a bond creates between them.
Connection with other Family Members:
It is not enough just for the parents to keep in touch with the child; but other adoptive family members including; siblings, uncles, aunts, grandparents, and other extended kin. There are many ways through which the child can connect with the adoptive family.
Learn Language of the Child’s Native Origin:
There are many circumstances when couples make a decision of adopting from another state, country, or ethnic race. So the parents have to learn the language of the child’s origin. The same technique has to be used for the child as well. This will not create a communication gap between the child and the adoptive family.
Send Gifts on Different Occasions:
Sending gifts gives a very positive message that the sender values the recipient and has an affectionate feeling. Many people think that it is a way to bribe the child but in reality, it is an indication to tell the child that he/ she has value in the lives of the adoptive parents.
Invite the Child to Various Family Celebrations:
To make the bond stronger between the adoptive family and the child; independent adoption lawyers suggest that the child be invited to different celebrations in the family. In this way, the child can connect with all the people.
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