One of my best friends got divorced a few months back. Let’s call her Mira. I was with Mira during the whole phase of when it started, how it went on, what turn it took, and the moment when she was finally divorced from her husband. Trust me, the divorce was really exhausting – both physically and emotionally. There were moments when both Mira and her husband wanted to take each other back, but things had to be this way. Above all, I am just grateful that they took a better alternative to traditional divorce by opting for the collaborative divorce option. Both parties were understanding, listened to each other, and finally reached an agreement which was beneficial for both. I am super-proud that they carried the whole process with mutual respect, dignity, and honesty. But, that wasn’t what I was worried about. I was super-tensed to find out what happens after. I decided to stay with Mira for some time at her place (since she lived away from her family). Much to my surprise, she handled divorce very well and built herself up from the shattered pieces to a dignified woman.
So, in this article, I will be sharing what I learnt from Mira and these things surely help you lead a good life after your divorce:
1. Make Your Divorce Process Respectful
If the divorce is your mutual decision, there is no point ranting about the situation and blaming each other for what happened. Accept the fact that the marriage wasn’t built to last no matter how hard you or your partner tried. Once you have decided that you’re going to have a divorce, try not to make things worse than that. Don’t lose the mutual respect you had when you were married and try to do things smoothly and peacefully. Listen to each other and make the decision wisely without chopping off each other’s head. And it would be best if you proceed to the divorce on your own without dragging it to court. This will not only give you more control over your case but also helps you execute divorce without really fighting.
2. Life Must Go On
You may take a break from your routine for a week or so, but don’t drag it any longer. Mira got herself back to life in just 5 days. I am not saying every case is the same and you’re suddenly supposed to feel good after 5 days, but give yourself the chance. Do not get stuck in the moment. Come out of your misery and start getting things together as soon as you can. Get back to work or any routine you had before to make yourself realize that life doesn’t stop. Do things that keep you busy and take your mind off of the things that make you sad.
3. Meditation and Exercise Makes a Lot of Difference
Taking care of yourself while you’re going through a divorce is very much necessary. Therefore, meditate and take exercise even if you don’t feel like it. It will not only take care of your mental and physical health but will also make you feel better and fall asleep faster at night. No matter how much you feel like not exercising, do it anyway and you’ll start to see the difference in no time.
4. Go Out With Friends
Whenever you’re not feeling good, invite someone over or go out with someone who understands you and with whom you can have healthy and positive communication. You can talk to them about your feelings and let them help you feel better about yourself. Going out will also help you take your mind off stressful things going on in your life and realize that there is so much more to life than marriage.
5. Time To Do Everything You Wanted
There would be some things you always wanted to do but you couldn’t because of your husband or wife. Consider yourself free. Now, you’re not answerable to anyone and you can do everything you wanted without worrying about anyone else. Enjoy the freedom while you still have it.